living is a hard thing to do, but if you set your mind to it, you can escape it just enough to where you will be okay. you know it is all a joke, but you go along with it anyway for the benefit of others who don't see that. you can be distant without being absent. employ yourself in helping others to believe in what you have already let go of. no matter what is making you talk right now - alcohol, drugs, life - you are aware of it. you are exposed as you should be. you should be. be as enlightened as possible and no one could ever say a word.

She met his stare, and feeling completely bare she held her breath.
He gazed inside, and feeling her despair he wondered what was left.
The woman in his eyes was lost somewhere inside of a sodden, tear-soaked mess.

“Where is she?”
From her came an enormous exhalation.
But with that, she somehow managed to answer his every inquisition.
Somewhere along the way, the girl strayed far into a hazardous state.
Her very limbs were torn from her foundation, and holding on to nothing that kept her safe, she gave away and gave away… allowing herself to break.

Another bit crumbled to the ground after each blow.
She was weak to the very core.
But the reason she fell apart?
To be fashioned into a beautiful mosaic.

Every broken piece amidst her crises, every piece was plucked from the earth, polished, and positioned into a greater work of art.
Not once did she expect that her faults would bring about something so beautiful.
Not once could she even fathom that her darkest battles would someday be the brightest, most eye-catching portions of her beautiful life puzzle.

Strange how the pieces, though individually jagged and unappealing, have somehow joined into breathtaking splendor.

As she stared out onto the horizon, she was suddenly overwhelmed with sentiment. Her auburn hair rested delicately on her thin, bony shoulders. The sun reflected brightly off of her fair, fragile skin. On the surface she appeared prim and posed, her red hair tied back with a strikingly feminine porcelain bow.

When the corners of her wine red lips began to stretch, revealing her warm smile, something changed. She no longer existed as a speck of dust, but rather as an energy that spread through an entire medium. Hers was great and glorious before, but suddenly she was drawn to share more, that she might benefit those of whom she was now surrounding.

Employ yourself in the duties of seeking and sharing delight and affection.

Let me take you back. About four years ago. I met a sulky, sexy musician with dark eyes and strong hands. Inspiration struck my mildly sweet self when he first laid them both on me. My life was different then, it was darker from the moment I met him. But, like anyone who has been smothering the artist inside for years and years, the darkness was not a bad thing. For once, I was questioning, I was wondering, and my perception of society was dwindling. I cared not what people thought, not when his magnificent body was two inches from mine as we sat on the discordant bridge, our legs swinging above the water.

“Who is your biggest inspiration in life?”

As if I could tell him. This partial stranger. We had only known each other a week, yet I was completely infatuated with becoming all that he was.

“Hmm… I don’t know. How about Ghandi? He did some pretty inspirational things, right?”

His only response was a sigh. His dark eyes met mine and in that exact moment the sun’s rays caught, illuminating someone inside I was almost afraid to know.

Finally, I relent.

“Okay, I will tell you, but it is going to freak you out.”

“No, it won’t.”

The words fell from his lips and into my sweaty hands. It seemed true enough. More than that, it seemed safe. So I told him. I handed them over, and by some act of God, he folded them into his own perfect hands and there they were protected for quite some time.