I am not really happy, not in the usual sense of the word. Several things come to mind when I reason with myself about why I should be HAPPY. It is nearly impossible for me to have a reason not to be happy. I have everything I need and always have. However, as Ingrid so brilliantly puts it, "I am a gallery of broken hearts." My sad little blood pumper has been through H-E-double-hockey-sticks this year. It's time to move on, time to let go, time to raise my chin and stand on my own again.
Really though, tonight I am awake wondering where the days of wanting to change the world have gone. Seriously, where did they go? My mind used to be filled with inspiration, excitement, creativity, and a hope to influence people in a positive way. I hope to come back to myself somehow. Now that I am feeling so weak, I have the chance to regain my strength. It is time - I am ready to do this.
Here I go! I have put the loneliness on the shelf for now. My frown will be forced into a joyful grin and I will show the world the best I can.
Thank you Lord, for saving my soul
Thank you Lord, for making me whole
Thank you Lord, for giving to me
Thy great salvation, so rich and free
